


an even sum, a melody, a battle cry

by kitaakes



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Kiss, M/M, character exploration, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2020-11-03
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:01:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27370855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitaakes/pseuds/kitaakes
Summary: They’re in a safe room in the palace when Goro breaks the silence between them. Yusuke is slightly slumped against his side, and the weight of him against him makes Goro’s heart pound just a little faster.“You trust me far too much, Kitagawa-kun.” He can’t help but try and ruin the moment. Self-sabotage, it seems, is the only thing he can truly take comfort in.-Written for Akekita week 2020, day three - pain / healing
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kitagawa Yusuke
Comments: 19
Kudos: 41





	an even sum, a melody, a battle cry

Goro cannot take his eyes off Yusuke when he fights. 

The first thing he notices is his grace. He idly wonders if it’s an act of cognition as Yusuke effortlessly cuts across the chest of a shadow. Goro’s own movements in his white outfit are stilted, that of an actor playing his part to middling effect. Whereas Goro’s body seems to lock up in poses for dramatic effect, Yusuke’s motion is fluid. 

The second is his anger. He remembers, dimly, the discussion of Yusuke’s awakening. Each of the thieves present remembered one slightly different part - his laugh, the look in his eyes, the way he stood, how his bending finally seemed to give way to breaking. 

He can’t help but be reminded of himself. He’s not sure if it terrifies him or thrills him to know that someone else could be just as base at their core. 

And yet, Yusuke is so unlike him in every way, especially when it comes to trust. Yusuke covers him during battle in a way that’s far from just transactional. He knows Yusuke is more prone to risk around Goro, simply because he thinks that Goro will be able to back him up. He’s right, but the fact that he had assumed it from the start chafes against him.

Goro tells himself that the way he protects Yusuke is simply something he does to keep his cover. It’s an excuse that runs thin four samaercarms later, when Goro is standing over his unconscious body and feels a pang of fear before Akira tosses him an arginade to execute the move. 

\--

They’re in a safe room in the palace when Goro breaks the silence between them. Yusuke is slightly slumped against his side, and the weight of him against him makes Goro’s heart pound just a little faster. 

“You trust me far too much, Kitagawa-kun.” He can’t help but try and ruin the moment. Self-sabotage, it seems, is the only thing he can truly take comfort in. 

“Trust should be freely given to those you rely on. If it isn’t, what is the point?” Yusuke says this as if it’s the simplest truth in the world. Goro’s mouth tastes acrid. 

He can’t help but snap back, the words leaving his mouth without thinking. “You give and ask for nothing in return - what if someone were to take everything from you?”

Goro already knows the answer to that. He’s long since realized that Yusuke is someone who can subsist off the feeling of his own love alone. What he feels is a reward unto itself. The other person returning his affection is optional - unexpected, even. Goro envies the fact that someone could find the act of loving someone anything other than painful. 

It’s beautiful. It’s disgusting. It makes Goro feel so very bare.

“I would be willing to take the risk. I… am used to having things taken from me, of course.”

It occurs to him that Yusuke would let him wind around his heart and draw from it until there’s nothing left. The possibility of it is intoxicating. He hates that, too. He knows his own selfishness well, and he’d be just as eager to take as Yusuke is to give. 

His voice is a low whisper as he turns and brings a hand to cup Yusuke’s face. 

“I despise how honest you can be.” He means it, too. Even as he moves closer, his thumb idly brushing over Yusuke’s bottom lip, there’s a part of him that hates Yusuke. 

This is a foregone conclusion. A few days from now, he’ll lead the raid to apprehend the Phantom Thieves. A month or so after that, he’ll finally put a bullet in Masayoshi Shido’s head, and then one in his own for good measure. 

There’s no point in overthinking it, or thinking at all. The only thing to fear is his own attachment. Yusuke is the only one who has seen past his act, so carefully composed to throw others off the scent - yet here he is, waiting for him to act with his lips ever so slightly parted. It’s a feeling so precious and small that he wants to crush it.

Nonetheless, he moves to slot their lips together, one of his gloved hands gripping Yusuke’s far tighter than it should. For a brief moment, he’s too occupied to ponder the future. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Seven Devils by Florence + The Machine. Feel free to visit me on twitter at [@Kitaakes](https://twitter.com/kitaakes)!


End file.
